


Why Are Cafés So Difficult?

by Misha_Collins_Overlord



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autism, Autistic Castiel, Canon Autistic Character, Meltdown, Other, Trans Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 20:35:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9624305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misha_Collins_Overlord/pseuds/Misha_Collins_Overlord
Summary: AroAce Castiel and his boyfriend Dean going on their first date.Castiel is nonbinary, aromantic and asexual. Dean is pansexual. Their orientations aren't necessary to the story, but this is my Dean and my Castiel.I'm aromantic, asexual, nonbinary and autistic, this is pretty much personal experience projected onto a headcanon about my favourite character.





	

Castiel's eyes scanned the bookstore for Dean, to no avail. His body needed to move so he allowed it to unconsciously, rocking from the balls of his feet to the heels, repeatedly.  
Good. It was a good movement. Yet his body required more.  
He let his head nod rhythmically, as if to a song that wasn't there. Hand tapping his thigh. Chewing his sleeve. Whispering the lyrics to "The Wall" by Kansas. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, enjoying the pleasant tingle in his chest that accompanied the correct level of stimulation he needed.  
Cas generally liked bookstores, as they were quiet enough for him and the lighting wasn't too harsh. He was content in that moment.  
A girl was watching him, an eyebrow raised. Cas noticed, stopped whispering, rocked a little more subtly. He maintained eye contact with her, maybe forgetting to blink. The hand in the sleeve be was chewing on fell to his side.  
"What's wrong with you?" He asked. "Why are you staring at me? Stop staring at me."  
She frowned, offended, but Cas didn't notice that. He was just confused as to why she didn't answer his questions.  
With care, he put his sleeve back between his teeth. It was his comfort hoodie - fluffy inside, oversized, warm, sporting a picture of Led Zeppelin. He spotted Dean weaving through the aisles. Cas caught his green eyes, and immediately balanced on his toes, waving both hands frantically, the movement causing the biggest smile to break across his face.  
Dean chuckled as he got closer, "Hey there Mr Flappy Hands. I got you something, since you're always fidgeting."  
That definitely came as a surprise to Cas, who was so thrown off by this random kind gesture that he forgot speaking was a viable option. So he just stood there, unmoving, unblinking.  
Dean smiled as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out a tangle - pastel green and sky blue plastic links. He handed it to Cas, and Cas bounced on the balls of his feet, twisting the toy between his fingers, enraptured.  
He was so completely absorbed in manipulating the little links, he didn't realise he hadn't thanked Dean for it until he glanced over and see the other boy's eyebrows raised, smiling fondly.  
He laughed when Cas looked at him.  
"You're cute. You always get so... lost in things like that. Like your entire body gets happy and never wants to stop looking." He licked his lips and smiled. "Like last week, when we were walking past Kevin Tran's house, and you heard those wind chimes. Cas, dude, you looked like you had never heard anything more beautiful."  
Cas was about to brush it off, slightly awkward, but Dean held up a hand, the other on Cas's shoulder, and cut him off before he even started.  
"I mean it. Your eyes were glittering and you were practically in awe. The way you can find so much beauty in everyday things, Cas? Just another reason I love you."  
Cas whispered, "thank you," and threw his arms around Dean for a hug. "You're the best boyfriend ever."  
He blushed when Dean kissed his cheek and held his hand.  
"And you, sunshine, are the best partner a guy could ever want."  
Cas smiled slightly. "Let's go get coffee."

 

This was their first date together, according to Dean, because, as he said, "I love watching you read while I'm scrolling through my phone, but it doesn't count as a date."  
As they were sitting in the little café together, Cas was immensely grateful for the tangle he was twisting between his fingers. He took a sip of his coffee.  
Dean was talking about his his little brother Sam was interested in law school, his he definitely has the intelligence for it, and the rest was lost as a group of people wandered in, laughing and talking, and the coffee machine started whirring away.  
"What?" Cas asked, squinting, unaware that he had interrupted Dean, straining to hear him.  
Dean frowned. "You okay?"' Cas could barely make out the words.  
"What?"  
"I said, are-"  
"Oh," Cas said, his brain finally processing what Dean has asked. "Yeah. It's just - it's really loud in here."  
Dean looked around the small café, unsure. "I don't hear anything Cas, are you sure you're okay?"  
Cas's eyes were rapidly darting around the room, Dean's words left unheard.  
The coffee machine was whirring noisily, people talking and laughing and their cutlery was clanging off of plates and cups and the employee at the register was counting loose change, every drop of a coin just another sound too much for Cas to handle.  
A small noise passed Castiel's lips as his face contorted, he slapped his hands over his ears painfully, the pain giving him something else to focus on momentarily. So he did so repeatedly.  
He felt a pair of hands try to guide him from his chair, and automatically, he flinched. He relented once he realised it was Dean, trying to help.  
Dean got Cas to his feet, still hitting his ears. "It's okay Cas, I got you," he repeated softly, guiding Cas to the single stall unisex bathroom at the back of the café. He locked the door behind them, gently helping Cas to sit on the floor.  
He held Cas's hands against his head, firmly but comfortably, so he wouldn't hurt himself further. It was helpful, Dean noticed, because only then did Cas realise that they were away from the noise. The bedroom was silent except for the soft whirring of the ceiling fan.  
Dean pressed the tangle into Cas's hand, and sat next to him on the floor.  
"Are you okay babe?" Dean asked, as Cas started rocking.  
Cas nodded. "Sorry. I got overwhelmed and had a meltdown. I... I'm autistic." He looks away from Dean, ashamed.  
Dean pursed his lips, nodding. "Look at me, Cas. It's okay." He smiled when Cas met his eyes. "I promise. It's okay. You're still the same Cas I've always known and loved. You're still my partner."  
Cas blinked. "You don't think I'm broken?"  
"Pfft, Cas, you're not broken," Dean snorted, rolling his eyes. "Your brain's just a little different. I'm always gonna be here to help you through any more meltdowns."  
Cas wiggled his hips and smiled, laying his head on Dean's shoulder.  
Dean pulled a pair of earphones out of the pocket of his red plaid shirt, and handed them to his partner. "How about we'll get you home and we can watch some Steven Universe? I know it's your favourite."  
Cas put the earphones in his ears, choosing to play "Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones, as the simple guitar and vocals were enough for him to focus on without overwhelming him. He smiled and nodded.  
"Thank you for being my boyfriend, Dean."


End file.
